Mistook A Friend for Gay: Another "Oooops!" Moment

I was very confident as I typed the question that was burning to be asked. " Ummm, I hope you don't mind, but hearing that you used to have a girlfriend, it's so hard to believe! Dba you're gay?"

Now people who ask these types of questions can easily be judged as those whom the Lord passed over when He distributed tact, grace, and good manners to the rest of the human population. But I had known this person for months, and never did I think, not even for a single moment, that he was straight. So there went the question. And there went the conversation. It was the prolonged and uneasy silence that made me realize that something was wrong, that perhaps, I had made a mistake.

I debated logging off and forever disappearing into the cracks and holes of cyberspace or waiting for his reply, which could contain either of these answers: a.) Yes, I had a girlfriend, but that was before I discovered that I was gay, or b.) "Whoa, I'm not gay! What made you say that?"

And to my chagrin, he chose to reply with the later. This sent me frantically wracking my brain for some sort of apology. How do you apologize for mistaking someone for gay? It was a good thing that he took it all in stride, and later informed me that I was not the first one to notice it. A friend of his had also told him that his texts can easily be mistaken for gay (but he's not, by the way). It's just in the way that he talks, texts, and emails. But apart from that, he's a straight as they come. Not that there'd be anything wrong if he turned out to be gay. At one point, he jokingly said " Sige nalang gud, bayot nalang gud ko!", which left me more confused, until he sent me an email explicitly telling me that he was not gay. Problem solved. Still, the incident left my old gaydar out of whack. I was SO sure that he was gay. I spent months referring to him as my 'gay' friend!

What made him think he was gay? It was partially the way he talked. Gay people have their own lingo, and although he was not swimming in it, it certainly sounded like he had a foot in the water. And I have lots of gay friends, which, as I have unfortunately found out, does not necessarily translate to having ultra sensitive gaydar.

It was like an inversion of an old Will and Grace episode, where Will tell's Grace that he's gay. Only in my case, Will is telling Grace that he's not.

Lesson? Egad, never assume, not about gay guys, or straight ones, or anything, for the matter. Sure enough, I made an ass out of myself when I popped that question. It's only by sheer luck that my friend is one of those rare people who can forgive and forget. I'm just happy that he's not currently sharing the same Zip code with me, or else I 'd have one very angry, very straight guy wanting to skin me alive.

Breakfast in Malatapay

So there we were, partially seawater-soaked and reeling from the stormy-ish banca ride from tiny Apo island back to the mainland. The Malatapay wharf was a welcome sight--any more of the light wave-tossing and we would have been on our knees praying to the high heavens for swift deliverance. The waves we'rent THAT big...but we were land dwellers, and anything that can toss an outrigger banca from side to side was bound to freak us out, my Lolo included.

Our captain was unfazed, though. He probably knows that waves that small were no match for his bamboo outriggers. But that didn't help us any, and we still silently freaked out the whole ride back to Malatapay.

Land! Finally!

Dizzy and hungry, (and wet) we found our way to our car which was parked beside the few eateries that are open during the entire week (the rest only magically come to life on Wednesdays, Malatapay market day). Cars of tourists heading for Apo can park here, and owners can hope that no coconuts fall on their Rovers and CR-Vs while they soak up the sun on the island. We left ours in the care of the guy who sleeps in the eatery at night, for a small fee.

Posing at the eatery. Making do with the tarpaulin as a backdrop. Smile!

Fortunately, the owner of one of the eateries, Mrs. Mila, was already up and about, preparing the usual breakfast for her customers, which usually consists of banca operators and other fishermen. The breakfast menu was all fish-- fish deep -fried in hot oil and garlic, and fish soup, floating in spring onions, tomatoes, green chili, garlic, ginger and lemongrass. My only regret is that I have forgotten what kind of fish it was. But one thing is for sure: that fish was deliscious!

Nang Mila, preparing our breakfast

Fried fish with garlic

We had 3 or 4 more plates of this. We ate them all.

Fish soup (fish swimming in spring onions, garlic, tomatoes, and green chili)

Love the fish eyes. But Lolo got to them first.

Coke. That's right, good 'ol Coca Cola for breakfast.

The fresh meal was a welcome change from the tuyok-manok and precooked sausages that we had brought to the island, only to have the majority of it go bad because we made the mistake of bringing too many (We ended up giving the bad tuyok-manok to the Liberty staff so that they could feed it to the dogs.)

Long story short, we decided to have breakfast at Nang Mila's. She served us the entire batch (the fishermen had to get their breakfast at the opposite eatery), and we drowned 2 bottles of Coke in the process (for breakfast!). There's something really refreshing and healthy about eating food that is fresh and without any trace of preservatives. The whole thing is easy on the gullet, and you don't have that uncomfortable sence of pseudo-fullness that you get when eating fatty and processed foodstuff. And for a total of 8 people, we only had to pay 500 pesos! Pretty cheap, eh, considering that the fish was still flopping helplessly on the bamboo counter when we arrived.

While we ate, Manang Mila's assistant also entertained us with various stories of Apo, from shipwrecks to elopements, while she stirred the pot of fish soup.

Apo Island: One Week Ago

It is only fitting that I blog about my latest trip to Apo Island today, since it is exactly a week ago today that I was there, along with my lolo, my dad, sister, cousins, and aunt. The trip was almost canceled, with the intertropical convergent zone stepping in and out of the Philippine area of responsibility like a sadistic tinikling dancer. But good weather prevailed on Saturday morning, and we felt optimistic as we drove to Malatapay, Dauin, where the wharf was located.

Our banca driver was Randy, the lady from Liberty Community Lodge had told me the night before when she called. He lives in Apo, but works as a banca operator ferrying tourists to and from the island. He was sent by Liberty, since the lodging house also takes care of the boat rides to and from the island if you stay there. Randy arrived at around 8 am, as the lady from Liberty said he would (banca operators are seldom late, since they usually have to deal with foreigners who don't tolerate Filipino time, ehehe).

Our banca, the Samuel Rose

The ride took 45 minutes. The waters were surprisingly calm, and although it was only eight in the morning the sun was already unusually high. We knew we had arrived when we saw the volcanic rock structures that jutted out from the blue-green water. They looked so inviting, I almost wanted to jump in right then and there.

Apo Island in the distance Apo Island up close

First view of the beach

The Liberty Lodge

We stayed at the Liberty Lodge, where the cheapest is the dorm with 300 pesos per bed, perfect for students or those who are simply like to rough it out. We had to go past the kitchen to get to the dorm, which did not look half-bad. It was painted white, and the white paint gave the impression that the walls were made of stucco. Inside were seven makeshift canopy beds made of rough wood. One of the best things about it was that it was clean, and the linens were all new. Other options are more expensive (1k to 2k plus a night) and located over the restaurant, but they have the best views of the island. The dorm has no view whatsoever, except for the back portions of the houses built right next to the lodge. But that didn't bother us since we planned on spending the entire day at the Sanctuary.
The other resort, Coco Grove had a 50 peso entrance fee,and was no doubt more expensive than the Lodge. Trying it out was definitely meant for another day.

The entrance to Coco Grove

After we settled in we headed to the Marine Reserve, which was a short walk through the community. The sanctuary was started in 1982 by Dr. Angel Alcala and SU. Back then the colorful corals and diverse marine life were almost non-existent in Apo. Now it's home to 400 and more species of corals and more than 600 species of fish.

Everyone donned a mask and a snorkel (even my lolo), although we all accidentally drank a few gulps of seawater trying to get used to breathing with the snorkel on. The corals were unbelievable. This trip is my second trip in Apo, but the corals still take my breath away. (If only I had an underwater cam!) The sanctuary patrol was still in full force, which was a good thing. They make sure that tourists go and snorkel where they're supposed to so that no one steps on the corals.

Getting ready for the swim

There were a lot of people on the sanctuary with us, but fortunately we were able to get the best (and only) cottage on the beach, which no doubt left some Korean tourists very disappointed. We met a lady who freaked us out for a minute because she couldn't find her American boyfriend anywhere. He was snorkeling a few yards away from the beach. She came up to change suits and when she came back he was nowhere to be found. We joined her for a few minutes yelling "Rob! Rob" only to find out that the guy was just quietly snorkeling near one of the divers' boats.

More pics.






And finally, there's the Apo Sunset.

the Apo Island sunset

Best sunset that I have ever seen so far.

It pretty much goes downhill after dark, especially after the lights go off at exactly 9 pm. We were at the restaurant having coffee when the lights went out, which sent the staff scrambling for candles. Another group was still halfway through their dinner and had to finish by candlelight. Pretty romantic.

We spent the morning in the restaurant while waiting for our ride back to Malatapay. The restaurant is pretty well-stocked, and at very reasonable prices,too.

The restaurant

coffee!!!

Tempted to get some breakfast. The food looked really good as we were passing by the kitchen, hehe (scrambled eggs with cheese, mushrooms, and bacon...yum!)But Randy was already on the island, so instead of 9 am he agreed to take us back earlier.

One of the best spur-of-the-moment escapades that I've had so far. Apo Island is truly one of the most beautiful places on Earth! It's a good thing its only a couple of minutes away. Maybe next time when the urge hits me I'll catch a banca and be there in time for the sunset.

New American President, New Yahoo! Lay-out

It's official, Senator Obama is the next American president! It felt good knowing that he won, since I had named my dog after him. McCain delivered a very gracious concession speech, though, and although the guy may never have another chance at running for that office anytime soon (he's too old), a lot of Americans (and non-Americans) have come to respect and love him for what he stood for. Pundits have been saying that McCain veered off course during the campaign which is one of the reasons why he lost this election. That may be true, but listening to his speech today, in which he praised Obama as a worthy opponent and someone who is deserving of the nation's respect and support, it is clear that the old McCain is back.
And oh, Yahoo! has a new lay-out. Did not suit me on several occasions. I got lost trying to locate the Sign-in button. I wonder if they made the switch to coincide with the announcement of the new American president. Hmmm.